This has pretty much been my life for the past 9 months. Twice a week. Herbs, vitamin supplements, probiotics, restricted diet, no alcohol, and a RIFE machine (a machine that transmits frequencies into my body to kill things). I’m sick of Lyme disease, I’m sick of having it. I’m sick of hearing about people who have just been diagnosed with it and about to enter an unknown world of suffering. I’m sick of reading about people who have been suffering for years with a mis-diagnosis. I’m currently battling off a very snotty, coughy cold. No problem, it’s just a cold right? Except that it’s not, because every bit of energy my body needs to shrug this off is energy my body also requires to fight Lyme too.
It’s partly my own fault (well mostly) – I do too much. My mind still believes I can do things that I used to, that I still have that energy and capability, ever the optimist. So I’ve thrown myself into skydiving – something that brings me joy and let’s me feel free. Things were going good, it was bringing me closer to a lifelong dream, which previously was always a ‘one day’ thing because climbing occupied all my time. Of course, typical me has no concept of moderation. I’ve done over 100 jumps this year already, and broken myself in a new way. It’s a hard situation to accept for me, that I can’t and possibly may never be the same again. That my body simply isn’t as robust as it used to be, and cannot physically maintain strength and recovery as before. My limits have changed, so instead I need to build in a large margin of safety, which I still don’t know how to gauge.
In evolutionary terms, I should be dead. I would not have survived on my own without acupuncture, I would be lying next to the Dodo. It’s thanks (or not) to medical advances and humans triumphing(?) over evolution that we can live for so much longer these days. We refuse to succumb to the path laid down by disease, and so millions of pounds from charity marathons, bake sales, car washes, tandem skydives etc goes to Big Pharma to find ways to cheat Darwin. But is that really the answer?
I believe that we as a species are regressing. Without evolution separating out the bad genes, along with the ingrained societal belief that we are too clever and powerful, we’re creating many new problems for ourselves. An example is from Chinese medical practice and theory, where it is believed that food has certain hot/cold properties which maintain balance in your body. This valuable information has been passed down through generations over thousands of years but is now being lost, dropped in favour of, “I’ll eat whatever I want to because I can” and, “drugs will fix me, and quick!” We choose what we eat, and food is made now simply according to taste and what people crave, even if it’s bad for you and will cause you problems. Most of us know that eating a spicy curry will probably give us a bad stomach the next day, but have you ever noticed that eating a lot of fried food gives you a sore throat too?
Trying to live with this disease, and deal and manage all the complications that come with it has brought me greater awareness of what I put in my body, and how my body reacts to it. I’m more in tune with what my body is trying to tell me, such as good and bad pain. I’m aware of situations that I want to take myself out of, but currently the mountains is not somewhere I can retreat to, to find my peace and solitude, but it’s coming…I’ll be there soon, inshallah.
“Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it.” (Buddha)